Where do I start? While I was at lunch today, I thought of a what I wanted to say here.
I guess I can say that I am 33 year-old kid. I am sort of a mix of Andy (the 40 year-old virgin) and Tim “the Toolman” Taylor. I like to goof and be silly and I also have “more video games than teenaged Asian kid.” But I am also serious. Maybe I don’t dress like a normal 33 year-old. Maybe I am too old for the t-shirt and Megadeth t-shirt (since I am not in the band). But that’s what and who I am. I can’t change that because I’d only be lying to myself. So, I could change the way I dress or the way I look, but I would be lying to myself and projecting a false image of myself.
Maybe the way I act or dress would make one think that I am not a responsible adult. Well, this could not be any further from the truth. Having moved here to the Metro-Atlanta area after never living on my own before, it was a real eye-opener. From no real responsibility to being responsible for keeping a roof over my head and food in my belly. And for those who know me, I don’t look like I have missed a meal!
I am also a geek, a nerd, and a hard-ass. Computers and electronic toys and video games are things I enjoy. Perhaps, I really don’t want to grow up. Is that why I have never met the right girl and fallen in love at least once in my life? I take the philosophy of Dallas in “The Fifth Element” when i say, “I don’t want a million girls, I just want one.” And I hope to find that one sometime in the not-so-distant future. I can’t imagine going my whole life without that feeling.
While I am confident in who I am, I am always self-conscience of my looks. While I am not Brad Pitt or a young Tom Selleck or even Sean Connery (young or old), I am not ugly. Sometimes, I will say it or sometimes I will feel like it, but I know it’s not true. I do suffer from low self-esteem. I have been going to the gym for more than a year and I enjoy it and I have lost 20 pounds and gained a little muscle, too.
So, who am I? I am everybody and I am nobody, but whoever I am…â€to know me is to love me. Because no matter what, I love myself, even if sometimes I don’t like myself.
[And yes, apparently, I get my philosoplies from movies and TV shows.]
