Mike's Grand World

My original reason from having a Facebook account is no longer valid. The one person that I joined for (well, she actually started my account) has erased herself from my life. It has been exactly one week ago that she decided that she no longer wanted my friendship and deleted me from MySpace, Facebook, all 3 IM clients we were on and banned me from sending her text messages.

I deleted our pictures from MySpace and her favorite picture of me.  This is my way of creating some separation…

I feel sad because I don’t like losing friends. I don’t like losing close friends. But maybe it is the best for the both of us. That doesn’t make the pain and sadness go away immediately, but now that it has been a full week, I am able to go on. As life goes on and we continue our lives, perhaps in the future, she will reconsider.

So, I decided that I would delete my Facebook account. There is only 1 friend from high school that I had on Facebook that wasn’t also my friend on MySpace and now that MySpace is getting the same crappy apps as Facebook, there is no real compelling reason to keep it. (Yes I have installed 4 of these crappy apps even though MySpace Apps are still in beta.) I never really liked Facebook. I felt constricted with what I could do with my profile and I found it hard to find old friends because it showed you so little about them.

Well, now that part of my life is passed, I will move on and still enjoy and prosper in my own life. I have great friends both here in Georgia and Alabama, but across the US and even in Sweden.. (whom I owe a postcard to!)

As I have come to realize that it is only a part of life.  That makes my greater fear… life, itself.  I do, however, sometimes fear HOW I will die, not that it is an eventuality that I will die.  We are all going to die.   It’s not how we die that defines us, it’s how we live.

There are so many diseases that kill.  Men and women who kill.  Adults, teenagers, and even the older generation.  So, why fear death when it’s coming?  In death, there will be a certain peace that we may not feel in life.  Do not mistake my non fear of death for a desire to die.  At least not until I feel like I have lived a full life.  I, in fact, feel like my life has only begun.  So, with God’s blessing, I will be around to annoy and amuse everybody for many years to come.

I fear life more.  Pain, both emotional and physical, is not something that I, nor anybody, enjoys.  LIfe brings joy, pain, happiness, sadness, elation, an desperation.   We laugh and we cry.  We smile and we frown.  We do things like drink and take drugs to ease the pain.  (Note that not all people who do these activities do it for pain relief but also for pleasure).  Life can be easy and it can be difficult.  Some of it is brought on by ourselves and some of it is brought on by others.  It’s how we deal with it that makes us stronger.  And, in this sense, I am a very weak man. I do need to learn to deal with pain and sadness in a way that makes me stronger rather than sulking and telling everybody how sad I am.  For this, I am not going to let too many people about my pain.  Only my inner circle will ever know.

If you actually read this blog, you just might be in my inner circle.

In any case, this is something I have been thinking about today and felt like writing about it is the same sort of therapy as writing poetry.

I believe that I am now finished with this blog post.  Go forth in peace and love each other as God loves you.