How do I mend a broken heart…when it has been ripped apart?
\nHow do I go on when I feel like giving up?
\nWhy do I feel like I am made to suffer?
\nWhy do I feel like I have to keep my heart in a cage away from everything?<\/p>\n
So many questions, no answers\u00a0 I so rarely let my feelings go because whenever I do, they just get stomped on, mangled, and then ridiculed… I have read a few blog posts lately that made me realize that maybe I am not the only one who might be hurting\u00a0 I wish hurt on no one…not my friends or my enemies… However, in an odd sort of way, I have taken some comfort in knowing that I am not the only one.\u00a0 Maybe we should start a club… BHOA… [Broken Hearts of America].\u00a0 Probably be millions strong…<\/p>\n
So, what do I do now… I pick up the pieces and move on.\u00a0 Try to mend my heart back into a single piece.\u00a0 Do a heavy amount of drinking… no, that won’t make the hurt go away, but at least I’ll forget about it until my liver fails… I’d rather have my arm or leg broken than my heart.\u00a0 Bones are easily mended.\u00a0 The heart is much more fragile.\u00a0 There is no cure drug for the heart.\u00a0 No, not even alcohol can help mend a broken heart.\u00c2 If there were a miracle cure, I’d be first in line.\u00a0 Be the genea pig.\u00a0 Anything that will ease the pain.<\/p>\n
I take solice in my friends and rely on their strength and their words to keep me going.<\/p>\n
I’ll share something else that may or may not surprise you.\u00a0 Though most of my high school years, I had many thoughts of suicide.\u00a0 It’s pretty obvious that I never suceeded or even tried. Just thoughts.\u00a0 Thinking rationally, which surprisingly I could do at that age, I realize that the only ones I’d be hurting are my family and my friends.\u00c2 I have recently had thoughts, not so much of suicide, but of death.\u00c2 How much easier it would be on me.\u00a0 No more suffering.\u00a0 But the people I left behind would suffer much more than I ever would.\u00a0 Suicide and death are the easy way out.\u00a0 Suicide is the ultimate act of selfishness.\u00a0 It is for those reasons, I am still here today.<\/p>\n
There have been a couple of instances where I could have been killed in accidents… but it didn’t happen.\u00a0 I believe that I am here today for a reason.<\/p>\n
If you took the time to read this, then I know you truly care about me.\u00c2 I have no way of knowing who did or did not.\u00a0 I would like to thing that all of my close friends are reading this.\u00a0 If you feel compelled to leave a comment, then do so… But I am not seeking comments, just understanding and love but not pity.\u00a0 Also, please do not share with others.\u00a0 This is for you, my friends and my friends, only.\u00a0 I would like to believe that each of you will respect my wishes.<\/p>\n
<\/span>This song really describes how I feel most of the time…. amazing how a song can describe how we feel almost as well as we could…<\/p>\n How Will I Laugh Tomorrow <\/span>(by Suidial Tendencies lyrics by Mike Muir…)<\/p>\n Here I sit and watch my world come crumbling down Love and peace flash through my mind Much love to you all and God Bless, NOTE:<\/span> I know it’s Friday and I hope I didn’t ruin anybody’s Friday with my negativity…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" How do I mend a broken heart…when it has been ripped apart? How do I go on when I feel like giving up? Why do I feel like I am made to suffer? Why do I feel like I have … Continue reading
\nI cry for help but no one’s around
\nSilently screaming I bang my head against the wall
\nIt seems like no one cares at all
\nAlways an emotion, but how can I explain
\nHow can I explain
\nKind of like the scent of a rose
\nWith words I can’t explain
\nThe same with my pain
\nCaught up in emotion-Goes over my head
\nGoes over my head
\nSometimes I got to think to myself is this life or death
\nAm I living or am I dead
\nThe clock keeps ticking but nothing else seems to change
\nProblems never solved, just rearranged
\nAnd when I think about all the times that I’ve had
\nSo few good-So many bad
\nI search for personality and I look for things I can not see<\/p>\n
\nPain and hate are all I find
\nFind no hope in nothing new
\nNever had a dream come true
\nLies and hate and agony
\nThru my eyes that’s all I see
\nIf I’m gonna cry
\nWill you wipe away my tears?
\nIf I’m gonna die
\nLord please take away my fear
\nBefore I drown in sorrow
\nLast thing that I’ll say
\nHow will I laugh tommorow
\nIf I can’t even smile today
\nToday today–when I can’t even smile today
\nToday today–when I can’t even smile today
\nHow will I laugh tommorow–when I can’t even smile today
\nHow will I laugh tommorow–when I can’t even smile today<\/p>\n
\n– Mike (not …operation: mike-crime… or …scary mike… or …the dark eternal mike… or even …while mike gently weeps…)<\/p>\n